Stormzy + Lukaku = Shut Up.

Stormzy? Lukaku? Lukaku? Stormzy? Grime MC? Footballer? No doubt you’ve seen the recent mix-up between Romelu Lukaku and Stormzy on the back of the Irish Herald. An innocent mistake or something a little more insidious? Well, like most things in life the truth is most likely somewhere in-between. Rather than produce more click-bait content about what…

Britain vs. Rest of the world.

Martin Samuel recently expressed his views in his Daily Mail column in relation to the general perception of Paul Clement, Swansea City manager, against Marco Silva, Hull City manager (at least for now). It seemed to me to be a rather bitter attack on the general stigma that attaches itself to British managers – “why…

Steven Gerrard Bans Lollipops

Daniele De Rossi would like to take a baseball bat to the teeth of young players who use Instagram in the changing room… Breaking News: Old man doesn’t understand young people. Meanwhile in Liverpool, Steven Gerrard is planning on stamping out lollipops, Cruyff turns and any form of expression in the Liverpool academy. More Breaking…

The Only Way is Billericay.

Spoiler alert. This is the best story in football. Ever. Billericay Town FC have been making a fair bit of noise recently. Essex based millionaire Glenn Tamplin bought the Ryman League outfit in December 2016. Since then quite a bit has happened. Here’s a quick recap: Tamplin has pumped over £10,000 a week into the…

The disease of me

Claudio Ranieri has been sacked and Gary Lineker is reportedly devastated. Lineker shouldn’t feel embarrassed for shedding a tear over the Leicester City manager’s sacking. A whole host of ex-players, managers and pundits took to Twitter to vent their frustration with the state of English football. What is happening to our beautiful game? Well, if…

Pep Vs.Press

The Setting: a typical Man City press conference. Journalists pepper Guardolia with loaded questions. Pep responds by breathing heavily into the microphones as if he were Luke and Leia’s  father. As he listens to the question he squints his eyes while simultaneously pulling his face apart as if he were the physical manifestation of the…

If Ronaldo had done that.

It’s time to retire a non-sensical football cliché. When a less high profiled footballer does something amazing, you’ll often here something along these lines: ‘If Messi did that, we’d be talking about it for weeks.’ ‘If Ronaldo did that we’d be talking about it for years.’ So when Everton’s Tom Davies scored a cute chip against…

Poppy-Gate

Gareth Southgate was a poppy-patterned bandana short of looking somewhat ridiculous on Friday. He elected to wear two poppies, just in case anyone had considered accusing him of a lack of patriotism. While Southgate is of course entitled to pay his respects in any way he sees fit, the double poppy ensemble did feel somewhat over…

Philosophy or No Philosophy? That is the question.

Jose Mourinho is a short term strategist. He plays to win, so when he doesn’t there is little for him to fall back on. He doesn’t seem particularly attached to a style of play nowadays, unless you consider parking the bus to be a style. I like to think of it as an anti-football philosophy….

There’s No Place Like Home.

West-Ham’s home form hasn’t been too smart so far this season. A home fixture against proverbial strugglers Sunderland offers the Hammers an opportunity to get things going at the Olympic Park Stadium. However, a word of warning to the headline writers; a home victory no matter how convincing could be a false dawn. You simply…

A War on Pointless Punditry.

Former Arsenal defender and now pundit (though I use the word loosely) Martin Keown, says Liverpool turned in their worst performance of the season so far in Monday night’s 0-0 draw at home to Manchester United. I would argue that it was in fact Martin Keown that turned in the worst punditry performance of the…

Woe is Wilshire. Shame on Shearer.

Watch the clip above from MOTD Week 8. Alan Shearer is analysing Bournemouth’s win over Hull. I use the word analysing loosely. Shearer and the MOTD crew have inadvertently compiled a series of clips where Jack Wilshire (32) becomes increasingly infuriated by his new team mates. Wilshire faces a new challenge without the support of…